being in love

assalamualaikum

ada sesuatu yang terlintas kat pemikiran aku selesai solat asar tadi. its been a month since my last breakup. exactly a month. pastu mula lah aku merepek fikir 1st month ni tainted sket. warne calendar cm pink2. semakin lama semakin nude warna dia. sampai la setahun maybe akan jadi warna putih calendar aku. awal2 ni ada la rasa mcm nk cari rebound dan segala. tp alhamdulillah bulan 1st ni jatuh dlm bulan ramadhan. thus, for the love of ramadhan, and everything it has to offer,  i am blessed and therefore, this month has been so far the best month because i havent done anything stupid. yet. hopefully.

i am a little afraid to step out of ramadhan. sebab i know once i enter syawal, shaytan semua dilepaskan. and im more prone to all these stupidities, #latenightconfessions, emotional breakdowns, DSB *everything that makes me a girl*. aku takut aku x kuat. these 5 days of puasa is sure tough. labwork, reports, kena byk bersabar, istiqamah in less facebook twitter and all. ramadhan telah protect aku. and im afraid when it leaves. mcm, berlalu ramadhan ni, anything can happen. pandora's box is unleashed.

and being in love is addictive. aku takut bila ramadhan berlalu aku rasa nk bercinta balik. rasa rindu. demi Allah susahnya nk buang perasaan sayang kat manusia. and i understand how hard it is to get out of the comfort zone. out of that environment where someone you like stops calling you, wondering about you, texts you. sekarang xada tempat manja dsb. bila pk balik. ya Allah. geli pulak aku dulu ckp cmni cmtu. manja bagai. but cmon, honestly. back then bila tengah bercinta, x rasa geli. rasa bahagia.

being in love is like a drug. getting out of it is so much harder than falling for it. its like ecstasy. kalau ada peluang bercinta sebelum bernikah, kalau mampu tolak, tolaklah. for all its reasons. but i truly understand the ecstasy, the highness, all the fluff and cloudy pinkness when being in love. everything is nice, everything seems ok. its like, you and me against the world.

when ramadhan leaves me,i pray i have the strength to resist. i really do. inilah doa 14/8/2012, ramadhan ke-25. yang sayang, cinta aku untuk penjaga aku masa sekarang, ibu dan ayah. bias macam mane mereka kat aku, sayang aku untuk depa. yang usaha aku utk depa, belajar, basketball aku semua semua semua utk ayah dan ibu. mintak2 doa aku makbul insyAllah