IFN-ϒ

i dont know how to put this because this one is just pure complaints and bitching about pain.

how do i put this. orang kata aku manja sebab sakit sikit x tahan? mungkin. mungkin dia x rasa apa yg aku rasa. but then again, maybe my pain threshold IS low. maybe i AM just some KL baby who cant endure pain yang sikiiit dr Allah ni. ah whatever the case may be. my pain is mine to feel and to cherish. and it does hurt.

first of all, i hate to complain to others anymore. i may seem like i do complain a lot. tp sebenarnya, the fact that i do complain to people is because i trust them. i wont go up to some stranger and go "hey morning! u know what? my knees hurt real bad" oh and i dont like those sympathies yang mcm.. hormat-kesian. im getting tired of bitching about my knees to my friends. i only tell them its painful so that they understand why im doing this and that, why i dont talk much or why sometimes i stare at the space empty.

and if anyone reads this, im really sorry. bagi aku, kaki ini sakit. aku sakit. like, physically and emotionally. i mean, u know i like basketballing right. ye ye.. tuhan suruh aku rest sebab dia nk tukarkan ak kpd gegerl. benti main. convert fully --> gegerl. bukan aku taknak. im embracing it. tapi. paham la aku yang jiwa kesunyian ilang buah hati pengarang jantung #eh? dan aku malas nk tunjuk muka-tembok-pecah-sedih ak kat khalayak ramai. i need a freakin-distraction. like, BALL. tp ball pun x dpt. tgk jela. tgk pun ak rasa sayu.  sayu tau. siapa tau sayu tu mcm mane paham la. susa nk ckp leletionship ak dgn bola ni. ak pemain bola tegar. 

ha dahtu. sampai part annoying ni. bila malam mula la mengering sakit. buat  keje x jalan. rasa nk mengadu membuak2. mengada aku ni rupanya. sakit sikit je. bukan patah jari pun. bukan patah kaki pun. bukan sakit kidney ke gastritis ke. betul la weh. ak manja rupanya. sakit sikit tdo. cm bangang je. aku malu dah cecte kt org.. org kata Allah tahu..sebab Allah la ak sabar skg ni. sbb Dia tahu. atleast Allah knows of it.

x tau nk buat mcm mane dah.. pusing kiri, kanan, sakit. nk lari sakit. nk lupakan tgk bball sedih. mlm nk buat keja sakit. xnk layan sakit ni boleh tak. #boleeeh! org suruh rest rest Rest REST! aku degil. salah ak gak. woi. ak rest la! xnmpk ke ak tdo awl? #eh?