not exactly..

Bismillah. Salam.

Lemme get this straight. Najah, Besa, if you're reading this, hold your horses.

Setelah...exactly setahun membujang, menyinglekan diri, dan 10 bulan ditipu jejaka ex (That's why they're called ex) hati aku berbunga kembali, terbuka semula untuk seseorang. *phewiiit, audience applauds*

I'm not.. exactly in love, not exactly angau, but lately I have been praying so that.. I won't fall in love or BE angau kepada orang ini. Which is quite easy-peasy sebab berdasarkan pengalaman lalu, aku semakin matang (lol) and experienced (combo lol). Aaaand, this guy doesn't make it easy on me.

He is... *drum-roll*

Nice. (selama mana aku kenal dia). Funny. Definitely funny. Family oriented. Doesn't keeps promises well. Shuts himself off under pressure. Never offended me in our 2 years of friendship. Does a good job in cheering me up.

He.... * tambourine chimes*

Doesn't call me. Doesn't text me. But we keep in touch most of the time. NEVER tells me about his ex-es and vice versa. Doesn't give ANY hint of having whatsoever feelings for me. Doesn't shut me out completely either. A total mystery. And I keep on wondering. Which is the best part.

I don't know when, where or HOW I developed this 'stirrings' (Captain Jack Sparrow, 2005) for the guy. One day we were normal friends and the next thing you know, BAM! You feel shy around him. It's a nice feeling. And I don't wanna get too carried away.

So... Dear God. The only thing I ask of you is to hold him when I'm not around, when I'm much too far away (AX7, Dear God) Haha kidding. (BTW, google up 'Dear God'. It's a good song)

*wajah serius*
Dear Allah,

Let my love for You surpass all other kinds of love.

Let my thoughts dwell on you more than I do on this 'guy'.

Let he be mine if You have the will to let it be so.

Make us lovers, halal ones in dunya and akhirat If You willed so.

Make us good parents if we're meant to be.

If not, take him away from me, and give me the strength to forget him and be at peace with your will.

Ameen