blunt thoughts: Long-term birthday

assalamualaikum!

ahha..memang sangat happy la sekarang ni.alhamdulillah and all praises to Allah for having me blessed with wonderful people in my life.hehe.ni mesti ade something happen kan?haha.

for a long time i have hated my birthdays because it somehow reminds me of my past bad birthdays.plus its a bit depressing when u start comparing your own lame birthday to some other 'princess' kind of birthdays. u know what i mean. those with huge suprises, birthday cakes, boyfriend gifts, parents giving them stuff like DSLR or iphones.those kind of birthdays which lasts more than a week. and then when u look at yourself, ur spending ur birthday doing ur assignment with a test tomorrow.

nauzubilliah. i was like that back then. up to the point where i got anxious when its near my birthday. ada orang sambut tak birthday aku??ada suprise tak??yup. they sound so immature but those were my honest true thoughts.

but this year, i learnt that, birthdays are supposed to be attributed to our moms. for having her raise us up properly.for giving birth to us in the first place. bersyukur semua. that we have been honoured with the gift of a long life to feel life as it is. sadness or happiness whatever it brings us. itu satu.

i learnt that, this year, im just gonna spend it in my room.that night i turn 22. and that i want to be with the people who REALLY cares for me.like family and close friends.not those who have been shoving condemns behind my back. and acting like they DO care upfront.

i learnt that this year a real gift comes from the heart. it may not be as bold as an iphone or a huge teddy bear.this year i got a promise pluck.a camera.an angry bird.3 cakes.a belly dance from a half naked woman in some lebanese restaurant.lauk from garuda.lasagna from secret recipe.ayam from edlee. and the best part was, all of those came from the people i love most in my life. the best part was, being with them was so much fun, i felt so loved i didnt expect any gifts from them because, Allah granted me them all as a gift for me. :D

this year's birthday was hands-down, awesome. i feel so blessed.